Our Tendency To See “Quiet, Intelligent, Socially Shy” As Problems, And Autism And Aspergers Syndrome As A Threat, All Of Which Is Untrue!

In the midst of the coverage about the young man, Adam Lanza, who murdered his mother, 20 children and six other adults in Newtown, Connecticut, with high powered weapons owned by his own mother, a lot of attention is being given to the fact that Adam is described as “quiet, intelligent, socially shy or backward, a loner” as personality traits that are troubling. And it has also been reported that he may have had “mental issues” such as Autism and Aspergers Syndrome, that may be factors in the violence that ensued.

This is totally preposterous, as being “quiet, intelligent, socially shy or backward, a loner” describes millions of people, both young and older, and it is somehow made out to be that if one is not the “life of the party, a social butterfly”, that something is wrong. So the aggressive, outspoken, braggart, boaster, bull artist, who often teases and bullies such “quiet, intelligent, socially shy or backward, loner” type people, is idolized as a model, because everyone wants to be “popular”!

And if someone has learning disabilities such as Autism and Aspergers Syndrome, which Adam Lanza may have had, it has ABSOLUTELY no effect on him behaviorally as a danger to others, as having such conditions is NOT mental illness, just an intellectual disorder!

And in the case of most mass murders or crimes, it is a person who is “perfectly normal” on the surface, who is “well liked and popular”, who does the dirty deed, but uses his charm and good looks and ability to bamboozle people, and to commit the crimes he perpetrates!

It is time that people stop stereotyping people by their being “quiet, intelligent, socially shy or backward, a loner”, as most will overcome such personality traits with growth, maturity, and building of confidence over time, and in many cases, such people end up as bigger successes in life than those who are the “life of the party” as adolescents or young adults.

One such person is this author, who was very different as a high school and college student, who blossomed as an adult, given time and patience.

And people with Autism or Aspergers Syndrome are not to be seen as dangerous, but instead as special young people who have a lot to offer, including friendship and sincerity, if only those who are the “life of the party”, and “popular”, would only give them half a chance, and stop being “braggarts, bullies, boasters, aggressive” in their behavior toward those not born as fortunate as they were.

My younger son is such a person, who is sweet, kind, decent, and has matured a great deal, and only wishes to be a friend of those, who in middle and high school, made fun of him. He is a happy man in his late 20s now. He is no threat to anyone, and never has been, and is a better person than any so called “popular, life of the party” type who needs to learn to tame his or her ego and treat others with dignity! He is a son his father and brother are extremely proud of, and would not exchange for some other young man who needs to learn how to treat his fellow human beings with respect!

Enough of stereotypes, and making the braggarts, the egotists, the bullies the show offs of society, as being normal!

4 comments on “Our Tendency To See “Quiet, Intelligent, Socially Shy” As Problems, And Autism And Aspergers Syndrome As A Threat, All Of Which Is Untrue!

  1. Engineer Of Knowledge December 15, 2012 2:10 pm

    Hello Professor,
    The true “snake oil” and “religious huckster,” Mike Huckabee, has seen fit to take advantage of this tragedy to come forth with the statement of “the reason mass shootings happen is because we took God out of our schools.”

    Well to use Mike Huckabee’s analogy, I guess the Amish children who were attending their religious school that opened each day with the “God’s Prayer,” but still suffered the mass shootings and killings in Pennsylvania would negate this superstitious statement. Then again maybe Mike would tell you that they were worshiping God in the wrong religion and need to convert to the true “God Approved Religion”……which I guess would be his.

    I’m sure Huckabee has no data, statistics, nor evidence to support and back up his nihilistic comment, but this will not matter to the religious right wing evangelistic “nut job” aspect. They will just bobble head in agreement because it contained and referenced God. I should point out that Mike did not mention whose God’s prayers were taken out of schools. A nice wrapped up “Generalized Argument Statement” which anyone who has taken an English 101 course will tell you that this fopa negates his statement right from the start.

    Yea no need to pass up on a good tragedy when I could push forth his God Agenda…..and of course not to mention the collection plates….In His Name….Amen.

  2. Ronald December 15, 2012 2:40 pm

    Yes, I have commented on Facebook about Mike Huckabee, Bryan Fischer, and other “religious” hate mongers who love to invoke God, rather than do something about gun violence. Huckabee, in particular, has gone off the deep end, since he ran for President in 2008, and then got an hour gig on Fox Propaganda Channel! Fischer is a certifiable wing nut, one of the most poisonous and hateful so called “preachers” on talk radio! These men are enough to make someone want to be an atheist!

  3. Margaret Mitchell December 16, 2012 1:17 pm

    What a loving tribute to your son Dr. Feinman. I have often heard you speak with great pride of him. He sounds like a beautiful young man and I am quite certain he feels the same pride and love in his Dad!

    I was also disturbed as the media described the gunman and inferred things about him they had no business doing. Being quiet and socialy shy is a description that can fit many people. I really wish the media would wait and obtain all facts before they start speculating and labeling someone with a diagnoses simply to fill up time or copy. Stating as fact to viewers that the gunman has Asperger’s syndrome invites negative judgment and bias toward persons who do have the syndrome. Asperger’s is no more a precursor to becoming a violent mass killer than any other condition!

    As a nurse I have had the opportunity to care for individuals with different spectrums of autism. Asperger’s syndrome is a milder form of autism that can result in varying degrees of difficulty carrying on conversation or interacting with others in a social situation. The person with the disorder might miss social cues most people take for granted, and they usually have a strong need for routine and predictability. These individuals may have difficulty explaining their feelings and problems but usually have normal or above normal intelligence.

    Individuals with Asperger’s have a wide variety of characteristic and their presentation may range from mild to severe. Rarely all characteristics are present in any one individual and, if present, vary in degrees. Asperger’s is complex and it’s important to remember people with the condition are still unique individuals with their own distinct personalities, strengths and weaknesses.

    I have found in my own practice that thorough understanding of the syndrome, caring and compassion are essential. I would like people to understand that though the condition cannot be cured, love, compassion, encouragement, patience and willingness to learn everything possible about each individual’s condition, symptoms and triggers, can allow them to live, happy, normal, productive and successful lives.

    There is much more to the story of the school shooter and so far everything is simply speculation on the part of the media and others following this terrible crime. Surely he suffers from some mental or possibly physical issue, but until this is clearly defined, no one should labeling him as anything but a deeply disturbed young man whose history is unknown to anyone other than those closest to him, who has committed a horrific crime.

  4. Jeena Smith March 8, 2013 6:29 am

    I have just read a post on Aspergers, titled with “Aspergers has not been hell, but the people behavior was!! ”
    This is 21st century and people are still having weird with Aspie’s which is really very embarrassing situation.
    What society need is to be stop bullying about this mental disorder and should support the people with Aspergers.

    Reference: http://cluas.ie/children/aspergers-syndrome/

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